So almost 4 years ago I left on my epic journey to study and live abroad in London, England. I was excited and nervous all at once yet mildly calmed by the fact that I could speak the same language in this distant country. Hmmpphh! Or so I thought! I thought I prepared myself in some ways by choosing to work at a retail store that sold foreign goods and eateries as my second job to save up while also trying out some of the things I may encounter whilst abroad. However, I did not have anyone tell me the basics and the more practically knowledge that would help my everyday life. In a lot of ways, I am glad I did not as I would not have the hilarious stories and tidbits to share. So throughout this blog this is my way to share as well as to educate in a humorous quasi anthropological way so do not be surprised if I go in between American and British English terms, sayings and even spellings. I hope that you enjoy my posts and leave me comments as well to share your own experiences and thoughts. And by all means, read this if you are planning on any type of foreign traveling!
So even though it is not customary to speak of digestive relieving needs (i.e. peeing, weeing, twinkling, urinating, shitting, pooing, defecating), it is vital to know the customs and practices of about this subject since it is the first thing one needs to do after a 9 hour trans-Atlantic flight! So I wish someone had told me some of the basics like which button to push or how to properly pull down the lever to flush the toilet. So I will share....
So after the plane lands from the grueling 9 plus hour flight, I literally had to run to the bathroom since I drank numerous amounts of liquids to stay hydrated. Being from the South, I was raised to be somewhat of a Southern belle in the sense of treating people nicely and asking for things sweetly. So when I used the common term of "bathroom", the place where toilets and sinks are located, I was given a strange look within the airport and then was told the "Loo" were located in that direction. Whatever, I shook it off as I had to RUN not skip to the "loo"! I was amazed how big the airport stalls were and how the doors came all the way down to the floor. It was strange to me as how was I supposed to know if it was vacant or occupied without being able to see the person's feet under the door or the shape of the person within the crack of the door. Then, I thought about it again and was surprised to realize how pervy that set of culture clues seemed. How silly of me, the door had an indicator sign to tell me if it was occupied or vacant dependent on how the door handle was turned. How clever!
So once I entered with all of my luggage and was still able to turn around and did my business, I noticed that there were two large buttons within the wall. Perplexed as to why there were two, I figured that I would press both just to be on the safe side and waited for my business to be flushed away.
The next toilet/bathroom experience was more complex (which it should have not been if my hosts would have told me the custom prior to). So anyways, after once again asking for the location to relieve myself of my bodily waste, I was corrected as I did not call it by its proper name a toilet or even more universal a "wash closet"! Really!!!! If I was trying to be crude I would have just asked for the toilet but maybe I also needed to use the sink to wash my hands or the mirror to fix my hair! And really a "WASH CLOSET"!!! That is a literal term and since when do people wash in a small tiny space like a closet. Oh well, whatever it was called I needed to use it! So in I went and used what seemed to me looked like the most ancient toilet. When I went to pull the handle, nothing went down the toilet. Tried again and again. Great I broke it! I did not want to yank or pull on the handle too hard as it looked like it was in a fragile condition and did not want to have water spurting out every where as well. So I graciously exited (thank God I only urinated!) and quietly stated to my host that I thought I broke the toilet somehow as the it was not flushing. I did not expect to see my host return my statement with a wide smile and a mischievous grin. He then said that he was just waiting for me to say that and how I actually needed to wiggle the handle of the toilet or perhaps hold it down or even pump it up and down to make it fully flush. So I tried those options and realized that it took a lot of work to flush that old ancient toilet. As I was wiggling the handle, the lyrics of that 70's disco song"wiggle it just a little bit" popped into my mind. Thus, I always silently giggle and sing that lyric when wiggling and giggling old British toilets!
Oh and later on I found out that the two buttons in the wall to flush the more modern toilets are for one a reduced water flush to conserve water and the second for a larger regular water flush. Or so I have been told. From my experience, when in doubt and to get the job done, push both. Oh and to save embarrassment from being called out by the locals, do not call it a "bathroom" unless you specifically want a bath tub to have a bath in or a "restroom" unless you plan to actually rest in that room. Silly technicalities I know but it will save you from being laughed at and clearly labeled as a foreigner.
Well, bye-bye for now my dharlings and happy trails ;)
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